Worse for the Wear

I used to love fashion. I discovered fashion YouTube channels during my senior year of high school and began building an extensive wardrobe. I loved anything that was patterned and colorful and I loved any store with funky clothes. Once I got to college, my love of clothes grew— I felt free to explore fashion. More and more people began to compliment my outfits and with more compliments, I felt I had to dress well all the time.

My love (and perhaps obsession) of clothes led me to follow any and all fashion YouTube channels, Instagram pages, and TikTok accounts I could find. I even created a fashion board on Pinterest where I could sort everything into sections based on seasons and every style I was interested in. But what started as following channels and accounts for mild inspiration became wanting to completely recreate outfits. What began as following seemingly regular people became feeling bombarded with nothing but the latest trends.

Fashion trends are interesting; there's never anything new, things just cycle over and over again and with each cycle, there’s an updated twist. Following so many fashion social media accounts, especially those on TikTok, led me to notice how the rate of trends has increased tremendously in the past few years. It feels like people try to “gatekeep”, or control, certain trends or feel they can’t wear something because it’s not trendy. It also feels like people my age (hey, Gen-Z) have gotten so judgemental with clothes. My generation really canceled skinny jeans? Skinny jeans? It’s unbelievable how much social media has caused the rate of trends to increase, making us buy more and more clothes, which is obviously expensive, even if you thrift.

But it’s not just social media that has made me dislike fashion. Why did no one ever tell me the changes your body goes through from about age 17 or 18 to 21? I’m really not trying to sound inept, but how did I never realize that your body naturally changes as you get older? I know, I know, it sounds stupid, but I suppose when I was 18 I thought “Okay, body! You’re going to look like this forever!” And even though it’s only been a few years, my body has changed. However, it’s completely normal for people in their 20s to notice changes in weight, bone mass, and muscle strength. It’s also normal to struggle mentally and emotionally because of those physical changes. Coming of age between 2010 and 2020 meant coming of age during the rise of social media, so while I compared myself and my body to other people’s posts and bodies when I was a teenager, being a young adult means that I can now go back and look at pictures and compare my adult body to my teenage one. And it’s been difficult to realize that it’s natural for my body to change and to mentally and emotionally accept that. My waist size for jeans has gone up a little. I now look for small and medium shirt sizes instead of extra small. And I’m constantly having to tell myself that that’s okay.

I was recently shopping with one of my best friends and we had to laugh at how much our style has changed. For example, while looking through the skirts at Forever21, we realized how short they would all be on us. We also realized we felt a little too old to wear mini skirts. How practical is it to wear a mini skirt while walking across campus or to an internship? I’m not judging anyone who does wear mini skirts, I’ve just discovered that I’m at a point in my life where I think “How practical is this piece? Would it be comfortable? Would it be appropriate to wear to my future job?” and things like mini skirts and crop tops have slowly started to vanish from my wardrobe. Instead, I'm constantly trying to find staple pieces that I know are comfortable, practical, look good, and, most importantly, make me feel good.

I don’t hate clothes and fashion, but I don’t love them as much as I once did. Growing tired of social media trends, going through physical and emotional changes, and entering adulthood has forced me to make decisions about the wardrobe I hastily put together during high school. I have to keep telling myself that it’s okay that I don’t like certain pieces or outfits anymore. It’s okay to want clothes that are comfortable and practical (I cannot deal with any more shoes that give me blisters or shirts that become untucked from pants every time I sit down). It’s okay to decide I want to stop trying to keep up with trends. And it’s okay to decide that I want to stop dressing for the approval and compliments of others and just dress for myself. I think I’m just "in like" with fashion right now, but I want a new love where I put myself, my comfortability, and my body first.